call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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