All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
