You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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