He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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