OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize