hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
