I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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