sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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