her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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