We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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