he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
