Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My liver just had a heart attack.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
