Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize