I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
