I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
