first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
