I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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