it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
