im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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