Sponge bath it is.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
