One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
