drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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