Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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