Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
