About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
