Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
