yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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