He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
