i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize