We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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