I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
a search helicopter?!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I love you.
Bad choice
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
