Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
