Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
