I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
