It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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