If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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