the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
