I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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