i was born a porn star she said
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
