Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
