Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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