so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
