I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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