Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
