is wine microwaveable?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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