When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
