I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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