so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
