its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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