If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
