By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize