if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
