No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i came on her dog
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
