i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
