I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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