just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize