he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
