If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Your cock deserves a montage
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
