ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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