so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
