is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
