She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
