i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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