these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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