Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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