I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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