So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
